Bumpa

I wanted to start documenting some of the things my grandfather has said that were funny, thought provoking, etc. He's just passed away and I thought it appropriate to put these down before they start to slip my memory (as I'm sure numerous stories and sayings already have).

Bumpa-isms
It only bothers you if you let it.
Only boring people are bored.
You didn't eat all your beans? I ate all mine...want me to prove it?


He would visit his sisters who's book shelf had perfectly aligned books. He'd push one in just and not tell her just to bug her.

He told a story about a woman who ordered some fresh cut meat at a store and was in a bad mood. As she left the cashier said have a nice day, and she replied "Don't tell me what to do!"

Diddly say kiddly's?

Throw it under
He asked mom prop a stick under his motor home bed while he was holding up one end. He said throw is under, and she threw the stick under the bed...they laughed for quite awhile about that.

Spliv parking
This is what he called handicap parking.

He'd constantly mess with toll takers on drives through to Florida. Mumbling 'they aren't very friendly are they?' and things of that nature while giving them money and getting change.

He, his father, and uncle, all went to Harvard. He had a masters business degree. He'd alway say "you can tell a Harvard man, but you can't tell him much."

An interview while fresh out of college was for a sales job. While interviewing the owner walked in and while holding his suspenders asked a few questions. Bumpa didn't know he was the owner, but the owner thought he'd be best for marketing. He doesn't want to be in marketing. The owner wants the man interviewing to call downtown and setup an interview with the marketing director. The interviewer does, and the owner walks out. Bumpa turns to the man and says well this is a fine mess you've gotten me into. What am I going to do now? The man hands him a book the marketing director wrote. He says, here, read this and say it back to the marketer...he'll eat it up. So Bumpa does read it while on the midnight train and spews it all back to the marketing director. He gets the job.

He introduced me to frozen peas and cayenne pepper.

Preferred two ply.

When driving the motor home he would enlist the passenger to his right to say 'yes yes yes yes' or 'no no no no' to tell him when the traffic to the right was clear when turning left.

He didn't like the blinking colon between the hour and minutes on his indash motorhome digital clock, so he put a piece of black electrical tape over it.

He'd like to teach about not being able to speak with someone when concentrating on driving. He'd explain this very throughly so as to make sure you didn't misunderstand why he wasn't able to look at you while driving.

Was a sailor in World War II, a navigator no less. Later in life, trying to teach a kid about how to find the N. Star, and ended up pointing at the wrong one.

In numerous drives to Florida with his motor home he had all kinds of stories to tell. One I remember is: Bumpa will leave on time as necessary. He'd bring people down to FL, sometimes some high schooler that was working for him. So one time it was time to leave. The kid that said he was coming wasn't there, so Bumpa started down the road. The mom caught up on the highway with the kid and flagged him down to pull over. He did, and the kid ended up making the trip after all.